Truth or Dare- Avengers Style
by LittleMistressLoki
Summary: Basically just the Avengers and Loki playing a lengthy, embarrassing game or Truth or Dare
"This is an emergency. Everybody report to the living room at once- auth. Tony Stark," announced JARVIS.

This caused a bit of chaos around the tower. JARVIS repeated the announcement with double the urgency.

Thor burst into the designated room, vanilla icing smeared on his face, brandishing Mjolnir.

Steve followed, sprinting into the room showing clear signs of having hurried into his uniform- his shirt was inside out.

With a poof, Loki teleported beside Tony wearing nothing but a pair of bright green briefs with gold L's on them, socks and his helmet.

Bruce had just finished Hulking out in his special cell. He hurried in, holding up his recently enlargened pants.

Nat followed Bruce, looking collected and alert.

Last of all, Clint, soaking wet with with shampoo bubbles in his hair and a patterned Iron Man towel around his waist ran in, holding a cluster of arrows he had haphazardly grabbed.

"What's happening?" he asked, waving about the arrows. "Loki lost his conk again?"

"No," said Tony. "But I'm flattered, Legolas."

"What- oh," said Clint, looking at his towel and going red.

"Loki- you have personalized boxers?" asked Nat with a snigger.

"May I ask what your ardent interest in and about my boxers is?" shot Loki, smirking.

Nat was about to reply when Steve burst out.

"Stark! Do you mind telling us what the great emergency is?"

"Oh, yeah!" said Tony. "I'm bored," he announced.

There was silence

Then all at once, people began to yell at Tony.

"I RUSHED OUT OF THE SHOWER!" screamed Clint.

"I WAS DRESSING MYSELF!" yelled Loki.

"I WAS EATING CAKE!" bellowed Thor.

"I WAS HULKING OUT," Bruce sort of bellowed, loudly but not very loudly- he left all the blustry noisiness to his alter ego.

"I was asleep," said Steve mournfully.

"Oh, be quiet," snapped Tony. "This is to remind you all that you guys owe me for last week's Hulk fiasco (sorry about that, Brucie) and I demand compliance!"

Nat sighed, making herself comfortable in an armchair.

"I'm gonna go finish up with my shower," growled Clint.

All the doors slammed shut and locked.

"Thank you, JARVIS," said Tony.

"Now you all remember thanking me and in Loki's case offering to pay me back for saving your hides. I'm bored, so..." Tony leaned on the counter in front of the bar.

"Who's up for a few party games?" he asked, grinning like crazy.

Nobody answered.

Bruce sniffed the air.

"Are you...drunk?" he asked, reproach in his voice.

"Eh, maybe a little," shrugged Tony.

Loki rolled his eyes.

"I'm leaving," he huffed.

"Before you poof away, Reindeer Games," said Tony, "people are going to get humiliated. You're gonna miss a great show."

Loki frowned. He did like to see people get humiliated.

He curled up on the couch.

Steve sighed, sitting down cross legged on the carpet. He was used to Tony's mullish stubbornness by now.

"Truth or Dare!" Toby announced gleefully, pulling out a bottle of vodka and chugging some.

"Does anybody have a belt?" asked Bruce.

Tony gave him his own.

"So, if everybody's resigned to their fate-" Tony began.

Clint cleared his throat.

"Oh, yeah, the Lord of the Rings reject," muttered Tony.

"At least let me get my pants," pleaded Clint.

Tony swung the vodka again.

"I don't think so," he slurred gently.

Clint's eye twitched.

"I HAVE SHAMPOO IN MY HAIR" he yelled.

"My brother can take care of that," said Thor, prodding Loki.

Loki sighed and waved his hand. There was a faint green glow, and Clint's hair was suddenly dry, fluffy and strangely, pink.

Everybody stifled giggles. Clint ran a hand through his hair. It felt dry. Ah well.

"Pants?" he asked.

Loki waved his hand again, and the towel fashioned itself into a pair of Iron Man patterned boxers.

Sulkily, Clint sat down in an egg chair.

"Everyone set now?" asked Tony. "It's Truth or Dare time."

"What is this play of 'Truth or Dare' that you wish us to partake in?" asked Thor.

"The Midgardian equivalent of our old game Questions and Commands," explained Loki. "Don't you read?"

Thor brightened at the familiar name. "Proceed, Stark!" he said.

"Okay, den," smiled Tony, tottering a little.

"Blondie, you first," he said, pointing at Thor. "Truth or Dare?"

"Truth," shrugged Thor.

"Hm," said Tony. "What's the most embarrassing thing you've ever been caught wearing?"

Thor blushed.

"Loki'd underwear," volunteered Loki.

"In fact," continued the trickster God, "he's probably wearing them now."

A wave of his hand resulted in Thor's pants melting away, and sure enough, he was wearing bright green tighties with the words "Loki'd" printed across his behind in clear, bold gold.

Tony wolf whistled. Nat snickered.

"Loki's turn," said Nat. "Truth or Dare?"

"Dare," said Loki immediately.

Nat thought for a while. "I dare you to make out with Tony for thirty seconds," she said finally.

"NO!" cried Tony in terror. Loki rolled his eyes. He glowed green and suddenly, there was a beautiful girl in his place.

She had familiar high cheekbones, a regal expression, jaden eyes and lush black hair that fell to her shoulders in thick, rapid curls.

"I'll simply use my female form," Female Loki said.

Tony frowned. "Are you telling me you could've been a hot chick all this time we had to put up with you?"

Female Loki just hissed before pulling him up and kissing him. Nat counted to thirty.

Returning back to her place on the couch, Female Loki turned back into Male Loki.

"Boring," he yawned.

Tony stared into a distance, looking fazed.

"Nat," said Clint.

"Dare," she said.

Tony seemed to snap out of it. "Revenge time!" he exclaimed.

"I dare you to strip to your underwear and sit on Loki's lap for the whole game," said Tony.

"WHAT?!"

This came from Steve. He was red in the face and looking scandalized.

"You can't ask a lady to do that!" he said, shocked.

"You can in the 21st century," shrugged Tony.

Nat was scowling, but she complied. Loki smirked like anything as she set herself down on his lap.

Clint was snarling slightly. Steve looked as if he was going to punch Tony. That guy was big on respect.

"Stevie's turn!" said Tony, his voice slurring more than ever.

"Truth," said Steve instantly. It was obvious that he didn't want to get caught up in any shady dares.

"Truth!" grinned Nat. "Alright then, Cap. Given a choice between Tony and Clint, who would you marry?"

"Why dyu always pick on me?" whined Tony.

Steve looked perplexed. He glanced at the pink haired Clint. Then at Tony. Then back at Clint.

"Clint, I s'pose," he muttered.

"HA!" yelled Clint. "Taste defeat, Iron britches!"

Tony gasped in a hurt way.

"The good doctor has fallen asleep," observed Thor.

Sure enough, Bruce was curled up, sleeping peacefully

"Aw, let 'in sleep," said Tony."Clint turn, then."

"Dare," said Clint. He was a brave lil birdy, after all.

"I dare you to video message Fury and proclaim- I am Legolas of the Elven folk, and I take no orders from one eyed Big People!" said Loki. He had read The Lord of The Rings, being the bookworm he was.

"Legolas wouldn't say that," frowned Clint.

"No, but YOU will," said Tony. "In the state you are in, too, half naked and such."

Clint sighed.

"JARVIS, video message to Nick Fury," he said.

A small screen slid in front of him from the ceiling.

"Calling SHEILD," said JARVIS.

After a couple of minutes, Nick Fury's scarred bald head appeared in front of them.

"I AM LEGOLAS OF THE ELVEN FOLK, AND I SHALL NOT TAKE ORDERS FROM ONE EYED BIG PEOPLE!" Clint screeched.

Fury stared.

"Barton," he said, after a long spell of bated breath silence. "Why the HELL are you wearing Iron Man underwear?"

After Fury was done yelling, Tony cut off all communication.

"My turn!" said the alcohol dazed rich kid happily. "Truth!"

"On a scale of zero to ten, how attractive dyu find Fury?" asked Clint.

"Five," said Tony. "Five for that freaking awesome eye patch."

"Pass this around," he added, taking a swig from the bottle of vodka and then handing it to Thor.

"Trying to get us drunk, Stark?" asked Loki after he took a sip.

"Tha's the general idea, yas," murmured Tony. "Thorie, Truth or Dare?"

"Truth," said Thor, and Loki could sense unease in his voice.

"What's the worst thing you've ever done to Loki?" asked Nat. "As in, the most unjust thing he didn't have coming to him."

Thor frowned. "I suppose Loki had better answer that," said the god.

"Definitely the beating you gave me after I cut off Sif's hair," said Loki.

"Just a beating?" yawned Tony.

"He broke three of my ribs and left me lying out in the rain in the dent my body had made," stated Loki.

"Harsh," said Nat. She meant it.

"Do you remember how soundly Mother and Fa- I mean, Odin- had spanked you?" Loki cheekily asked a very ashamed looking Thor.

"Roasted my rear, you mean," said Thor, grimly. "It would be weeks before I could sit down properly. But it was well deserved."

Clint let out an explosive snort of laughter.

"Imagine Thor getting spanked," he said.

Thor suddenly pulled Loki into a hug. Nat fell off his lap.

"I'm sorry for everything awful I've ever done to you, Lo," he said.

"Yeah, okay Thor," said Loki in a constricted voice, his green eyes bulging. "Leggo, you're crushing me."

Thor let go.

Tony burst into tears. The alcohol had finally gotten to him.

"THAT WAS SO SWEET," he bawled. " AND THE NICKNAME! LO!"

Nat clambered back onto Loki's lap.

Tony wiped his tears and grabbed some tissues to blow his nose.

"That WAS sweet," agreed Steve, smiling at knew Thor really loved his misfit of a little brother. He wondered if Loki felt the same way.

"Loki!" Clint called out.

"Truth," shrugged Loki.

Nat snickered. "The God of Lies picks truth. What shall we ask you?"

Steve cleared his throat. "May I?" he asked politely.

Clint nodded. "But make it good."

Steve's face was set. Loki wondered what the oh-so very valiant Captain could have to ask him.

"Loki, I'm going to give you a situation," began Steve. "You get to rule both Asgard and Midgard."

"I'm liking this," grinned the trickster.

"But," said Steve. "You have to kill Thor first. Would you do it?"

Loki's face went blank. Thor didn't dare look at him, for fear of glimpsing his thoughts.

"Haven't I already tried to kill him several times?" asked Loki stiffly.

"What would you pick NOW?" insisted Steve. " after everything he's done for you. After he fought Odin to give you another chance, after he faced Fury's...well, fury. After he openly defied his superiors by allowing you to use your magic because he knows it makes you happy. What would you pick now, right now, this very moment?"

Loki struggled for a few moments.

"I would not harm him," he exhaled, almost as if the words hurt him. He eased up. "Two realms are a measly reward for killing this wild brute." He sounded snarky. He didn't mean that, and Thor knew it.

Tony began to cry again

Thor smiled. Then he pulled Loki into another hug, as a very disgruntled Natasha slipped to the floor again.

"Thorki bromance!" sobbed Tony.

Steve have him a weird look. "You read too much fanfiction," said the star spangled soldier.

Thor released Loki.

"You don't know your own brute strength," wheezed Loki. "I think you broke a rib. Again."

Thor laughed gaily.

"Nat?" asked Clint.

"Truth," she said.

"Right," said a slightly recovered, red eyed Tony. "According to you, who's the hottest guy in this room?"

Nat frowned.

"Well," she said, leaning against Loki's legs, "I suppose one of these two gods. At any rate it seems like sculpted abs are a part of the standard God package. But if I had to pick, I would say Loki."

Clint made a funny noise. He looked like a kicked puppy.

Nat rolled her eyes. Then, to everybody's surprise, she blew him a kiss.

"Ah, Clintasha," sighed Tony.

"Freak," muttered Clint.

"Clint, Truth or Dare?" asked Nat.

"Dare," replied Clint. He just never learned.

Thor grinned.

"Well, then, O Hawk Eyed one, I dare you to dye your bow and arrows pink, dress up as Cupid and go outside, to the street, proclaiming yourself as the deity of love!" said Thor.

"Ooh," grinned Nat. "This'll be good."

Clint groaned.

"Go on, Hawkie," said Tony. "Follow your orders like a good little baby bird."

"I'm game," sighed Clint.

"JARVIS, OPEN SESAME!" bellowed Tony. All the doors opened.

"Thor," said Loki, "fetch Barton's weapons. I shall take care of the dressing up."

Thor got up and went out of the room. He returned carrying Clint's bow and a quiver full of arrows.

Loki began muttering some Nordic incantations.

The quiver became transparent. Inside it, the arrow heads turned pink and heart shaped, while the shafts turned white. The bow reshaped into half a heart, also pink in color.

"As for Barton himself," said Loki. "His hair is already pink. His Ironman boxers deserve display, so I'll leave them be. But he needs these."

He waved his hand. Tiny angel wings sprouted from Clint's shoulder blades.

"Do not worry, they are mere illusions," said Loki idly.

Several love themed tattoos came up over Clint's torso.

"You are to say- Behold, the hit man of love!" instructed Loki.

With false bravado, Clint headed out of the Tower, the Avengers peering outside from the balcony.

Poor Clint was on the pedestrian path

"Omg, look, Hawkeye-" began some teenage girls, stopping short as they digested his appearance.

A small crowd of people began to gather around him.

"HAWKEYE?! I'M NOT HAWKEYE! I'M CUPID! BEHOLD, THE HIT MAN OF LOVE!" he yelled, jumping up and waving about his bow.

Cameras flashed. Clint posed. There were whispers of 'drunk', 'on crack' and 'Ironman boxers!?'.

"Hawkeye! CUPID!" said one of the journalists that always hung about the tower.

With as much dignity he could muster, Clint turned on his heel and headed back inside the tower. He was followed by wolf whistles.

"Welcome back, Cupid," said Loki as he entered the living room.

Clint bared his teeth.

He tossed his pink and white weapon aside.

"It's Tony's turn, isn't it?" he asked.

"Mmrph," said Tony. He was gagged and tied to a support pillar.

"Don't ask," said Steve.

"I guess Tony's out then," said Clint. "Which makes it Thor's turn," he added. Only Nat heard the dangerous undertone.

Thor gulped. He had already picked truth twice in a row. His reputation as a brave Aesir was on the line. If he picked truth again, his companions would think him a coward. And Hawkeye was just looking to pay Thor back for the cupid dare.

"Well, Thor?" asked Clint.

"Dare," said Thor with a sudden burst of courage. He was a prince and a god! He feared not children's games.

 **And that's about it. Most of my fics don't get read through so if you just did, thank you! And for that same reason, this one shot ends here. For those of you who bothered to read till here, thanks again 3**


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